Boogiewalker
08-10-2011, 11:14 AM
It’s funny how little stupid things frequently come back to haunt you, often with unintended consequences. I finally realized just how some stupid things that I had done/said in the last few years (which came to a head last night at the Focus Dance Competition) had negatively affected someone in the community in ways that I really had not intended. That’s why I’m writing this now and posting it for all dancers (and associated folk) here to see.
First off, I have to apologize to Butter from The Goonies. In the last few years, I’ve been overtly critical of his dancing, both vocally and online. We finally talked about it, man-to-man, last night at Focus after the competition. I hadn’t fully realized just how unhelpful my way of “dealing” with my problems with his performance had been until I heard it from him. I not only had been negatively critical and snide (which is bad enough as is), but I had also made him feel that I had a personal agenda against him (I don’t and, for the record, never have. On a personal level, I’ve always been cool with Butter.) Not only that, I had made him feel like he was unwelcome at places like Homeland and in the popping community in general. To realize this made me really feel bad because I know what a huge part of my dance experience places like Homeland and the popping scene in-general have played in my life and to think that I was an active part of denying someone this—well, it makes you think twice, to say the least.
As most of you who know me KNOW, I am a VERY opinionated person. I’m not afraid of owning up to my opinions either. I might not always go hunt someone down and point a finger in their face and let them “have it” point-blank—but that doesn’t mean I won’t say it or write it. And, as a quick side note (especially to BBoy Harry Potter, if he’s reading this): I believe EVERYONE is ENTITLED to their own opinion and he or she is FREE to share that opinion if he or she wants to, REGARDLESS OF THEIR SKILL LEVEL OR HOW FAR THEY MADE IT IN A COMPETITION, etc. HOWEVER, people who openly share their opinions must then also face the consequences for airing them. I don’t believe that anyone should BE FORCED to “keep an opinion to himself”—but that doesn’t mean that sharing an opinion, specifically in a way that is over-critical and/or in a negative manner, is the best thing to do. Most definitely, I can say that THE WAY IN WHICH I CHOSE TO HANDLE THE ISSUES I HAD IN THIS CASE WAS THE WRONG WAY TO DO IT. I could have handled it “better”—and by “better” I mean by telling Butter in a more constructive way how I would like to have seen his dancing change and improve.
And to be fair, as I considered his performance from last night at Focus as we talked about this stuff, I can say that Butter HAS improved over the last several years as a popper AND a dancer. I can say that I think my evaluation of his skills was clouded by my prejudices toward certain tactics that he uses in competitions (e.g. entertainment, hat tricks, etc.) To put it another way: I judged the quality of the cake by only looking at the frosting rather than actually trying it (ironic to use a cake metaphor for a popper named “Butter”, I know.) But more so last night than other Focus competitions, as I thought about it, I think that Butter danced more and relied on tricks less than in previous years. And plus, tricks and entertainment value moves are legit in certain situations. I wouldn’t rely on them at like, Freestyle Session or How Tha West Was Won, but since the Focus Competition organizers say that “50% of the judges’ decision is based on crowd response”, using crowd-pleasers is a GOOD strategy in that case.
Everyone has prejudices and biases. We all have things that we like to see and things we don’t like to see. Personally, I love to “see the music” when someone dances and I like clean technique. However, I’m not being helpful if another dancer has a different approach and I attack them for it. If anything, I should be finding a way to help the “see what I see”—and vice-versa. If I understand the other person’s way of dancing, it could possibly help me improve too. I KNOW this, but as I said before, we all have biases and unfortunately, for most of us “opinionated people”, our biases connect very closely to our BELIEFS, our EMOTIONS and our PRIDE. This makes it hard for us to really be understanding and cool-headed in the heat of the moment, like in a battle or a competition, where our beliefs about what is “good” dancing are challenged directly, our pride is threatened and our emotions are usually running wild.
So, I guess what I’d like to say to everyone is this: be careful with airing your opinions—particularly in HOW you do it. You might have something valid to say, but say it in the wrong way and you’ll only be more discouraging and hurtful to someone. And when someone is discouraged, hurt and/or angry, the whole scene suffers because of it. We’re divided over something that ultimately didn’t have to be negative and divisive. Your mouth is a loaded gun—don’t go shooting it off without thinking because you’re only going to end up making bigger problems, causing strife and ultimately, having to eat humble pie.
Lastly, respect to Butter; I’m sorry for being negative and unhelpful. Hope we can get down together sometime. Peas.
Boogiewalker
First off, I have to apologize to Butter from The Goonies. In the last few years, I’ve been overtly critical of his dancing, both vocally and online. We finally talked about it, man-to-man, last night at Focus after the competition. I hadn’t fully realized just how unhelpful my way of “dealing” with my problems with his performance had been until I heard it from him. I not only had been negatively critical and snide (which is bad enough as is), but I had also made him feel that I had a personal agenda against him (I don’t and, for the record, never have. On a personal level, I’ve always been cool with Butter.) Not only that, I had made him feel like he was unwelcome at places like Homeland and in the popping community in general. To realize this made me really feel bad because I know what a huge part of my dance experience places like Homeland and the popping scene in-general have played in my life and to think that I was an active part of denying someone this—well, it makes you think twice, to say the least.
As most of you who know me KNOW, I am a VERY opinionated person. I’m not afraid of owning up to my opinions either. I might not always go hunt someone down and point a finger in their face and let them “have it” point-blank—but that doesn’t mean I won’t say it or write it. And, as a quick side note (especially to BBoy Harry Potter, if he’s reading this): I believe EVERYONE is ENTITLED to their own opinion and he or she is FREE to share that opinion if he or she wants to, REGARDLESS OF THEIR SKILL LEVEL OR HOW FAR THEY MADE IT IN A COMPETITION, etc. HOWEVER, people who openly share their opinions must then also face the consequences for airing them. I don’t believe that anyone should BE FORCED to “keep an opinion to himself”—but that doesn’t mean that sharing an opinion, specifically in a way that is over-critical and/or in a negative manner, is the best thing to do. Most definitely, I can say that THE WAY IN WHICH I CHOSE TO HANDLE THE ISSUES I HAD IN THIS CASE WAS THE WRONG WAY TO DO IT. I could have handled it “better”—and by “better” I mean by telling Butter in a more constructive way how I would like to have seen his dancing change and improve.
And to be fair, as I considered his performance from last night at Focus as we talked about this stuff, I can say that Butter HAS improved over the last several years as a popper AND a dancer. I can say that I think my evaluation of his skills was clouded by my prejudices toward certain tactics that he uses in competitions (e.g. entertainment, hat tricks, etc.) To put it another way: I judged the quality of the cake by only looking at the frosting rather than actually trying it (ironic to use a cake metaphor for a popper named “Butter”, I know.) But more so last night than other Focus competitions, as I thought about it, I think that Butter danced more and relied on tricks less than in previous years. And plus, tricks and entertainment value moves are legit in certain situations. I wouldn’t rely on them at like, Freestyle Session or How Tha West Was Won, but since the Focus Competition organizers say that “50% of the judges’ decision is based on crowd response”, using crowd-pleasers is a GOOD strategy in that case.
Everyone has prejudices and biases. We all have things that we like to see and things we don’t like to see. Personally, I love to “see the music” when someone dances and I like clean technique. However, I’m not being helpful if another dancer has a different approach and I attack them for it. If anything, I should be finding a way to help the “see what I see”—and vice-versa. If I understand the other person’s way of dancing, it could possibly help me improve too. I KNOW this, but as I said before, we all have biases and unfortunately, for most of us “opinionated people”, our biases connect very closely to our BELIEFS, our EMOTIONS and our PRIDE. This makes it hard for us to really be understanding and cool-headed in the heat of the moment, like in a battle or a competition, where our beliefs about what is “good” dancing are challenged directly, our pride is threatened and our emotions are usually running wild.
So, I guess what I’d like to say to everyone is this: be careful with airing your opinions—particularly in HOW you do it. You might have something valid to say, but say it in the wrong way and you’ll only be more discouraging and hurtful to someone. And when someone is discouraged, hurt and/or angry, the whole scene suffers because of it. We’re divided over something that ultimately didn’t have to be negative and divisive. Your mouth is a loaded gun—don’t go shooting it off without thinking because you’re only going to end up making bigger problems, causing strife and ultimately, having to eat humble pie.
Lastly, respect to Butter; I’m sorry for being negative and unhelpful. Hope we can get down together sometime. Peas.
Boogiewalker